Thursday, September 4, 2008
Heroism
Actually,
This is not heroism. This is a person trying to cover up for his being a loser by pretending he don't want something. Sour grapes.
What the fuck ever. I don't give a fucking damn now about what you think about me. Think me screwed up for all you want. You see, there comes a time where one loses his drive to life.
Only friends. Only I live for friends. I cannot live to provide a better future for anyone, as I see no future for myself. I cannot live for my own future, its gotten fucked up its ass. I cannot live for grades. They look worse than me. I cannot live for love. (according to my theory)
I can perhaps live because some people in my family are living for me.
But when they go I will find that courage to consign myself to hell.
To end this.
Like I referred to just now, love.
True love I thought I felt, but had to throw away. I figured something out. Only heroes and prince charming handsome people are allowed true love. Commoners and scum like me may only live for the lust that burns bright within all human beings.
Every time I try to do math I get stuck in 5 seconds and cannot do anymore.
I can't do this. I am hopeless at math. Fuck.
Looks like I am going to have to get retained. Gyahaha fucking life.
I perhaps can continue living. But what the fuck am I studying for now?
Not one FUCKING thing.
If you love me
Kill me.
You promised me the sunrise,
at 6:49 AM