Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Once upon a dream
To quote Hp, "The hols are ending, so hurry up." Well, that was said 2 weeks ago. And yes, they ARE in fact, ending.
Like a whisper in a dream, time slipped through my hands yet again, and I'm no closer to my A's. Well actually, I AM closer to the actual A's, but not the grade. Meh whatever.
This hol really passed with the same quality as a dream. It started off with the waking nightmare of crap which I shall not deign to talk about, then now its just some gray haze that passes too quickly to be noticed. Like the sights outside a plane window, everything seems to shrink away from my, as if I were flying away. I had the dinner with my parents on their wedding anniversary last sunday. It was in a real posh place with a buffet of good food but somehow, the beauty of the place and the exquisite taste of the food was lost to me. Part of me was nonchalent. Another part was crying because I seem to have lost something important. I think when I did the retard book thing, my heart went with it. Now its no longer with me. I gotta see her to get it back sometime soon mans.
Ok back to the main story.
We went to cover the J2 Prom for the photog. The entire op was an epic. The booth outside where we charged to print photos did a grand total of ZERO sales. No one prints pictures now that there's facebook. Perhaps we could charge for on the spot facebook upload or summat.
The picture taking was worse. The lighting was the boss of all time, spotlights and psychedelic rubbish everywhere so it was hard to focus. And the damn spotlights kept shining me in the eyes. I was almost blind after that -_-
But it was an interesting experience I guess. Though I felt like some crappy perv standing at the bottom of the stage with this camera looking like I was trying to upskirt the prom queen or something.
Anyways, we saw the whole event and realized, gosh (almost) everyone was wearing suit or dress and looked so formal. The entire thing was like talking and camwhoring with little actual eating lol. So unlike our gradnight, I guess it was more like the RG one where the people actually dressed to look pretty and not to look outstandish or weird. Like ours.
To end off, heres some picts from our gradnite, for guys to feel nostalgia and girls to see the difference in our grads.
Aye so heres most of the people from our table minus a few like Eddie who's probably off at the toilet "doing his hair", and Daniel and others. Damn but we didn't manage to get SY to drink his coke (which was a weird shade of orange, probably a result of the salt and chilli in it). Who's the bugger who tipped him off?
Ah and here is a picture of a pastime of us 4P dudes, getting the stack on Peng or Paul. Here we have Paul getting stacked for the 10th (at least) time since the grad ceremony. Hai, being head boy seems dangerous now nay?
Well yeah so the rest of the pictures can be seen online at FB if you're interested. There are very few, cause' unlike the RG side I think our class was more interested in screwing around than camwhoring.
Fight on for the memories
Of the everlasting dream
Their pain in the silent lands
On wings of love we're free
You promised me the sunrise,
at 7:54 AM
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Swan's path of your heart
Do you believe, that if you follow what your heart tells you about anything, it is the absolute truth? Will you follow your heart even against the better judgment of your mind?
Will you throw away what your mind holds dear to be loyal to your heart?
I did.
Perhaps it was the worst mistake of my life. Perhaps I should have done it another way. Perhaps I should never have at all. No one will know. Not even I. Even though my mind told me that there was no way I would succeed, that I would lose even the friendship I still wanted to keep despite failure, I went ahead anyway. Of course, now the regret sets in. But still it was the path my heart told me was right? So it would work out for the best. (?) I try to tell myself that. That even though I have experienced this setback, this was the right thing to do. My heart told me, that deep inside, I knew she shared this attraction to me, that she'd accept what the hell ever I was trying to push at her. My mind told me that I should have played for MY personal gain and not do such a stupid thing.
I listened to the heart.
It was lying.
I was always a romantic idiot, regardless of whether I admitted it or not. I believed that our hearts have a special way of communicating with one another, that when one heart felt the attraction of special care towards another, that heart would feel it too and would tell it so, despite whatever our physical bodies may do. So immersed within this delusion was I that I failed to think rationally. I imagined that HER heart was telling me to do this as well. Hahaha you people may think me the insane. But I have to admit, at that point, I WAS the insane. Now I see clearly. I see how hopelessly foolish I'd been. Damn, if I could rewind time I would make it all right. But this is life. Real life, where your minds control everything and your hearts tell you soft lies you should never listen to, despite how sweet and enticing they sound. Really, I'm a living example of what happens when you listen to the wrong thing.
I don't know how to continue I guess.
My heart lied. I wanna rip it out and eat it. Or something. But my mind tells me I'll die if I do so. This time, I'm gonna listen to my mind. I think its smarter.
Does it truly pay, to be THAT loyal to your heart?
You promised me the sunrise,
at 6:25 AM