Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Crimson, my brain bleeds its sanity out
I must really say, although I never expected such a bad relapse, today was quite trying. Suddenly in the morning the rage and desire came over me again, feeling like unleashing all that violence so bad I probably behaved very strangely and did some things I could not control. Ah well. For those in the know you'd like understand. But for those who don't know, its like alright cause' you probably think me insane anyway.
Heh.
I decided to pen down my thoughts while I was in that state and it kind of helped quite a bit. Once I got like enough sense to read what I was writing I almost died from shock. Honestly, I would not want to share it. Just suffice it to say that it wasn't pleasant. Though a lot of it was influenced by metal lyrics. Which may be something that's causing me to be that screwed up but hey, it's like the only music that doesn't make me feel bitter after listening to it (other than classical but that doesn't have lyrics).
After that I seemed to like completely change my mood and become high or happy or what ever I was. Wow I really am the insane.
Anyways, apparently it's the mark of metal guitarists to mainly be insane. So at least, on the bright side, I'm well on my way to being pro! :D
Today jamming was much better, pulled off a couple of songs like Reptilia and whatnot.
I'd like to say that I didn't care, but next week is valentines day and I'm kinda being put in some black melancholy cause' I am reminded again of LAST year's which was a shit. Anyway, at least its on saturday so
1) No need to expect presents/give presents
2) No need to see all happily deluded couples parading their foolishness in the streets
3) I can sleep till 2 pm again and thus skip half the stupid day
Even so, I bet I, in all my infinite wisdom, will still get it into my head to go down somewhere in the city to like think things over again, by which time I'd see many couples and get damn pissed again. Well, that's life. You'd like to destroy what you can never have.
You promised me the sunrise,
at 7:09 AM
