Friday, March 27, 2009
Loyalty of your heart?
Ok at least the CTs are over. But then comes the question that I'd put off till now. Which girl is the one? Or do I pick neither? Wth I was on the verge of my decision already, damn it! If either of you girls are reading this (you know who you are) then I'm sorry for my indecision, sorry to keep you hanging, well one of you anyway.
I thought to just try things out, see how they'd go. But then again I'm being advised by many people NOT to and in fact I don't see the reason why I should go dating if I know the other party is interested but I'm personally not interested. It would get your hopes up and I don't want that to happen, I know the extent of torment you'll go through if that happens.
I think going out on dates with no "intentions" is perfectly alright, I've done so before and I quite enjoy it, since both parties understand that the date does not like make them together or something, going out with a girl alone is an extremely rewarding and enriching experience, and I also learn how to please girls better ^_^
But anyway. Seriously won't this just go away? This whole week I had nightmares, and
she appeared in like 3out of the 5. Damn, not in some sicko sense, but in the sense that I'm afraid to lose her, even though I never had her, and dreaming of her with someone else is really some torture. I really need to get over this, if I'm not going to try further that is. Honestly, I think a crush won't torture me to this extent man.
I think my heart isn't loyal to my body, if not it wouldn't cause me so much trouble. Lol.
DAMN DAMN DAMN I WISH I WAS IN RI AGAIN!
I really really wish I could have been back in 4P, just for a year longer. I miss the carefree nature of things, we could really screw around, be ourselves, mess up and laugh at it cause' there wasn't anyone to show off to. To play, learn (not much though), sleep, eat in class with others like you. Hoai, miss it. Swearing loudly at each other and no one means it seriously, no one feels insulted either, just letting stress go. Or even the random crap, reckless driving, pardus, dota, softball in class, our trademark curtains, class challenges, lab escapades, the mealworms and conc. HCL in the cupboard, watching anime and playing com using the school stuff...man it goes on. The people too were awesome. But tomorrow, we get to meet up! Heh. At least I got my fun still. One more day, just one more day and I'll get down to this sticky business again. And meanwhile, I'll continue to hit the gym. First impressions
do count see? :D
You promised me the sunrise,
at 8:27 AM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Old Maclaurin's farm
Great, I spent ages and only marginally understand my arch nemesis Maclaurin's series expansion. Damn. I think it's only worth a few marks at most. And I probably won't get all of them anyway. Let me show you how my math has improved after my cramming:
Lack of time+Noob Math= Fail.
Ok I regret to the max not being hardcore through the hols and the start of the year, now I'm pretty screwed. I don't think one can improve that much given that I'd only hardcored for like 2 weeks. That said, I hope at least to pass the math. My econs has officially been uh, relegated to U. I think chem also, if my last test is any gauge on it. Hopefully if I cram for 2 days more I can do it. Now I just hope I won't screw up my lit or GP essays. Gah stress!
And to top it off, I have pretty scary decisions to make after the CTs that I have to look forward to. To choose a girl who I'm more than good enough for, but whom I don't currently like AT THE MOMENT, or to choose a girl that I'm NOT good enough for (and probably never will be, in her eyes...ok nevermind) but whom I like still very much at the moment? Shit, life gives me a lot of great choices. Damn again, I should be mugging now trying to make my econs into an S or something, but I cannot concentrate enough.
T.T
A train station is where a train stops
A bus station is where a bus stops
No wonder my PC's called a workstation.
You promised me the sunrise,
at 9:09 AM
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A lie, when softly whispered, cannot be heard
It has been tiring. I spent so much time loafing and being sad that I missed a lot of my schoolwork, and been spending lots of time recently catching up on it. Recently, I've been talking a lot with Eddie and thinking. Ok, so my last attempts at chasing a girl
were epic. So I'd been behaving like an idiot all that (this?) time. So writing a book to confess was a real damn bad idea. So there's no wonder I failed badly. It's no one's fault but mine actually. That said, what should I do now, I asked myself. I guess it's time to move on. If along the way she'd like me then so be it, if not then there are others. There's definately someone in this world who'd let me be what I really am in front of her, and like me for it. To quote Eddie anyway, "your relationship story was not a tragedy. It was a bloody comedy!" Damn, so it
was true. Heh you'd think having prior bad experiences I'd have learnt. Ah well last year I was young. Now I'm more versed in the ways.
By the way, to those of you who like writing, you should drop the notion of using writing to confess. From past experience, it is the ultimate means by which to get rejekted, and not in a graceful manner at that. Even freaking Mr. Darcy from P&P found this out the hard way.
The next time I'm gonna grow the nuts to tell her straight to her face, whoever "she" may be in the future. There are actually many opportunities to find girls. Plus there are J1s now :D
But thinking deeper, I probably won't find a girlfriend from RJ. I think many RJ girls are idealistic, and I'd never be good enough for them, or I must be the "one" for them. That probably comes from reading too many love stories or dramas. But hey, I was once foolishly like that too. So I won't blame anyone. I think neighbourhood girls mostly take what they can get, so they'd be easier to appease. Plus, my school would then be a plus point on my side! XD
This is not to say that RJ girls suck though. Please don't get me wrong, you're all nice and such, but I'm just stating that my prospects would be higher on the other side. Think on it this way. How many of you RJ girls would date me if I asked, and you knew me well enough?
You'd probably see zero.
*grins* The grass is greener on the other side, even if the skirts are not.
You promised me the sunrise,
at 8:10 AM
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Fine Eyes
Heh this week's been quite crazy. And it's not over yet...
Chem SPA on monday lol actually not supposed to talk about it. But SCREW! I miscalculated and wrote oxygen Mr as 16 WTF zz.
Then the econs test. Likewise, I reiterate my point last year that we should always remember to practice our speedwriting for econs essays, cause' if not you're gonna die for them.
Well I'd been taking a new approach to people and life in general, trying to be a nicer person and generally to be the most pro person I could be. And it seems to be going well...
At least I now can talk easily to her. Ah well, all's fair, in love. Thus, if you're not going to be better than your competition, you fail nay? So time for me to buck myself up :D
Speaking of which... Eddie's in love again, for the like 3rd or 4th time in 2 years. Heh well this time ya seem more serious eh? So, good luck! XD
Haha i wanted to talk more but I gotta go back to chem cause' the test is tomorrow >.<
You promised me the sunrise,
at 6:34 AM
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The right path
Okay hi to the 2000th person who came here. Anyway, life's been really hectic and more than a bit tiring ever since. No wonder I can't spend much time here. Had tough times and good ones, not to mention the fact that I'm probably gonna pass my first math test in some time :D
Lol there was lawsoc camp on sat, well though it wasn't as good as could have been hoped, at least not completely fail. Got punched in the face though, during captain's ball >.<
And there's this week ahead which I really just have to bear with. Tomorrow's gonna be hard, starting with SPA, then GP presentation and econs essay, with no break between. Hai. Then there's the chem test sometime soon. Bet there's gonna be a lit test too. NAPFA also this week, screw it I'm gonna get silver only cause' the weather sucked so bad I couldn't even run at all. And the CTs are coming T.T wth! This is J2 nay?
At least after this week's over, I might actually be able to grab a slack, hang out with friends, even bring Faytle out for a 'date' (FYI my guit's called Faytle, she's also my 'wife'). I'll also embark on a quest to better myself in order to perhaps win that girl's heart. Who knows? Miracles do happen :)
(I might be tempted to switch to wordpress just cause' there are some things I wish to express but are kind of private. But the templates suck! T.T)
You promised me the sunrise,
at 5:46 AM
