Thursday, April 2, 2009
Towards the Silence
Again its an annoying time. Thanks to the huge heap of conflicting and different advice I've been receiving, I think I'm going insane. Somehow because everyone has so different views on relationships, the things I'm told to do are so different there can be no compromise. Albeit, I realize that I probably
have already made the wrong choice.
"I guess I'll wait and see what happens, see how things work out with her first"
"So you'd still like her that much then? In that case you're really stupid."
Really stupid. Really stupid. OF COURSE I'VE BEEN REALLY STUPID. DO YOU THINK IT'S GREAT FUN TO BE STUCK LIKING SOMEONE WHO DON'T AND WON'T LIKE YOU BACK? DO YOU THINK I REALLY LIKE MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE ALL OVER, THIS TIME WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN?
Sorry, but I guess I had to vent it. Honestly I don't care who reads this or what they think now. If your reading it, who think I was stupid, then just look at it and hopefully you'll sense the wrenching pain of my decision. I can no more go against it than if I were to tear my own heart out, cause that's what forces me onto this highway to hell.
Heh, as for "ignore everything and mug", I think its in pursuit of success in life, fair enough, but I feel there are different standards of success, and what I'd like is merely to be happy. Hence I can't sit there and do nothing. Well I hate to admit it but that's how I am. And yet again I am unfailingly creeped out by the number of weird people in RJ, perhaps only comforted (?) by the fact that others probably think me weird too, continually harping on this.
Well I bet you would too if the person tormenting you is continually in so close proximity to you, and there's absolutely NOTHING that you can do about it.
Reiterating on something I said before, its like touching an open wound. It hurts, but some sick fascination draws you to touch it. Somehow.
Save one breath for me
You promised me the sunrise,
at 8:10 AM
