Tuesday, April 28, 2009
With awakening, the tears will begin.
OH SHIT. My previous post sounded damn...ugh.
On a side note, I keep feeling demon in the mornings these days. Onset of insanity? Shit. Just when life was getting interesting I feel evil. Today I even reasoned that I should skip the econs essay, if not I might get even more pissed off with it that I might harm people. And then I get called screwed up for that :/
Well people don't understand and don't know the truth, so they'd just think like that. Besides, you don't really care do you?
Heeh "love" strikes everyone around me. While I myself am still unable to get over this (shit), I still recognize that others in fact have the potential to attain happiness in such. So, I shall sit by and be happy for you all.
Argh I'm supposed to try something, but I have so much to handle I think one less problem would help. Anyway, I highly doubt the probability of success of any plan I might have with regards to this. Need someone to like talk to about this, preferably a girl, so I can understand more the other viewpoint towards such a situation. But unfortunately, most girls I know seem a bit afraid of me for some inane reason. :(
Ah well, dating's fun anyway. Even without the meaning behind it, I guess close interaction between 2 humans is something to be cherished. Especially when people cannot call me gay cause I'm with a girl :D
You know, maybe in another dimension, (if such things exist) I might have been a better person, more successful, in a nice sport CCA, doing well in studies and of course with you by my side. Hahah I still have to face all the wrong choices I made with every step of the way. Yes, ALL of them.
On a side note, if I do talk with a laconic tone or narrowed eyes, it probably means I'm in my demon mood again, please stay away if you don't understand what's going on. Well I heard that those are the easiest to recognize signs anyway. Don't blame me for what I do then either cause' I don't really think I'm completely myself. I'm still working on some way to fix this though, so cheer me on if you want...
Anyway, that's another reason why I'd have problems with girlfriends. Cause, I don't think there exists someone sweet enough to take all my "quirks" and feel happy with them. Even if there was, I doubt I'd like her back anyway, "love" don't work like that.
Cheers to you people who are in the "lovin", success is tangible to you! :D
You promised me the sunrise,
at 7:33 AM
