Sunday, March 28, 2010
Needs must
Empty space, hear my cry.
Why do girls always cause me such torment? I thought I'd specified to you just be there to comfort each other, physically or by talking, why are you falling into the trap of emotion? I honestly believe you need to think long on what I said that day, ask yourself, DO YOU LOVE ME or DO YOU NEED ME? They are very different things you know. If you tie yourself to someone you need, but don't love, you'll spend the rest of your time in entrapment, if you have no way out, if not you'll leave as soon as have no more use for the person, like a leech dropping off after its fill of blood.
And I can tell you, from what little experience I have, you don't really love me. So please don't hurt yourself by forcing it, really. I would only have wanted someone that could take my shit, as seeing my male friends have their own worries as well. And you needed my help right? When either of us stops needing the other, what will happen?
Also, if you are deluded by fairytales into thinking that I may secretly love you, don't flatter yourself any more please. I've been through too much hell for this to even dare to try anymore, sad to say. The only person I can safely say I ever loved truly, does not love me back. So enough of that.
I'm thinking of something to say but words are failing me. I thought we were clear at the start. Just perish the notion. Nothing will come from this. You are good enough to be able to get other better guys too, and I know I can get girls as well. So please if you need a boyfriend, go find others, I'm not ready to risk torment again, neither am I sure my heart can love anyone else.
There's trouble, but I will forge through it again. Alone, if need be.
You had better try to find another solution, my friend. If you really cannot bring yourself to admit that I'm not "the one", I will help you by severing our contact, completely, like I did with one other in the past, painful though it may be. That may seem drastic, but trust me, a murky situation where one or the other is left hanging is infinitely worse. I've been through it, I know.
You promised me the sunrise,
at 9:02 AM
